Do Orthodox Jews Have Sex Through A Hole in the Sheet?
I can't touch, kiss, or have sex with my husband for 12 days after my period starts. Since I had kids my cycle is irregular , which wouldn't be a big deal except that I'm an Orthodox Jew and I can't even pass the salt to my husband - let alone touch, kiss, or have sex with him - for 12 days after my period starts. We never know when we'll have to sleep in separate beds or place a vase with a single rose between us on the dinner table as evidence of our separation. I was beginning to hate the rigid restrictions on my sex life until the other day, when I was sitting on a blanket with my two toddlers in a suburban Detroit park, eating pretzels from Ziploc bags and listening to other moms talking about their sex lives. Add nine months to that.
I washed my hair and combed out tangles, flossed my teeth, filed my nails. I stared in the mirror, wondering if this ancient ritual would keep my marriage alive through decades of humdrum, everyday life. It's not just the mikvah that makes Orthodox Jew sex so great: The entire system creates over-the-top intensity. To start with, you're shomer n'giyahso you don't touch anyone of the opposite sex - no handshaking, air-kissing, or friendly hugs.
In my world, every touch is electric. Then there are the laws of yichu whereby a man and woman who are not related are never alone in a private place. When my neighbor's husband came to help with the sprinklers when Avy wasn't there, he walked around to the backyard instead of taking the shortcut through the house. We do this because it's part of God's laws, but also because, as my rabbi explained before our wedding, "It's about noticing the details.
There's more. In the Aramaic wedding contract that spells out my husband's obligations, my sexual satisfaction is among them.
Our religion allows birth control, as long as it doesn't serve as an actual barrier between us, and we consult a rabbi to determine which method we should use, and for how long. As for those 12 days of separation, they're hard, but the mandated time off is a gift. I don't have to say no; he doesn't have to be grossed out by period sex ; and we can watch basketball games, read books, or talk on the phone to out-of-state friends without feeling guilty.
We spend different time together: we go for coffee, but don't hold hands. I look at him with the yearning I felt when we were dating.
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I start to fantasize. My husband's hands look stronger to me, and I think of his touch. Here's what we'll do; here's how he'll touch me.
So there I was, on the lawn between two play structures, my children taking drags of water from sippy cups and ambling off to climb and slide and squeal. My heart ached for these women who were so lonely in their relationships, who felt desexualized from breastfeeding babies, whose hormones had killed their libido.
I couldn't imagine 27 months without Avy's touch - 12 days is an eternity. Every system can strangle you if you let it, and I had just been complaining to Avy about the strictures of our religious sex life.
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Hell, holding your hand makes me want you. Would that happen if we didn't do this?
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I was quiet. Religion is hard, which is why so many people don't practice it. But there is joy in it, too - which is why I joined the thousands of ba'alei teshuvahJews who abandon secular life for the incredible passion that results from devotion to the Torah.
And Avy was reminding me of one of the greatest joys: sex. I am ready. Homosexual intercourse is also considered an act of sperm in vain, in addition to having its own prohibition.
According to many opinions, even marital sexual acts in which the sperm does not enter the vagina are considered no less an act of sperm in vain. The Sefer Hasidimhowever, states that if a man's sexual desire is so great that he afraid of committing a worse sin, then he is allowed to masturbate in order to avoid a worse sin. Yosef Hayyim in Ben Ish Chai  said that the Halakha is that female masturbation is wrong because it creates evil forces Qliphoth and brings the woman to connect spiritually with the evil angel Samael.
Rabbi Moshe Feinstein  said it is forbidden because it involves indulging in sexual fantasy about men, which falls under the prohibition of forbidden thoughts, which are forbidden for women as well. However, it does not carry the severity of male masturbation, because it does not involve the release of seed. The halakhic literature discusses the prohibitions of hirhur lit.
Many of the practices of tzniut modesty serve to prevent these prohibitions from occurring. In medieval Europe, the practice of bundling was common for young engaged couples.
The Talmud says that a man cannot force his wife into having sex. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. This article has multiple issues.
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I'm An Orthodox Jew - Here's Why We Have Smokin' Hot Sex Lives
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